Beowulf

By Linda Winsh-Bolard


Resembles, very loosely, the original legend, mostly by using the same names for characters and objects.

In the far Kingdom of Danes a creature called Grendel (Crispin Glover), decimated the brave, and the ones who were around, in a killing rampage when the joys of drinking and celebrating in the new Mead Hall woke him up. Yet, when asked by the King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) himself to fight him Grendel left him alive.

Beowulf (Ray Winstone), known for his heroic fights, comes to save the kingdom and earn the glory of slaying yet another monster with his Geats warriors.

He succeeds in killing Grendel but does not understand when the creature tries to whisper to him that he is no monster. In the morning the hall is full of hanging dead bodies of Beowulf’s men. Grendel had a Mother (Angelina Jolie).

Beowulf sets to kill her as well, instead he is, just like King Hrothgar before him, seduced by her and gives her the magical gold horn as well as a son. She promises him fame and glory.
After his return to the Hall he lies about what had happened, but cannot fool the King who had been there. Beowulf is left with the crown, the Queen and curse while King Hrothgar jumps into the sea.

Years pass by and many fought Beowulf, all of them lost. Yet nightmares keep him awake, his queen Wealthow (Robin Wright Penn) lives beside him but no more with him than she did with is predecessor, and when the curse finally comes to fulfill his destiny Beowulf might be relieved.

Now for a thin story, thin and misogynist, it’s got a lot of effects, among them an animated version of nude Jolie. Sorry, guys, women do not have spiked feet, even if the spikes look like high heels.
Jolie isn’t the only computer-enhanced person here; the astounding body of Ray Winstone is about as realistic as the one of Crispin Glover’s in the part of Grendel. Grende’s animation is top notch, just hanging between human and gory.

That’s good, because there are long scenes, starting with the inauguration of the mead hall, when one is on the edge wondering if one truly does have to see all there is to be seen in an old man’s body when that napkin covering certain parts is moving around more than necessary.
As for the fight scenes between Grendel and Beowulf, both naked, there is a specific
directorial accuracy in putting things before things, so that at the end, the family jewels will remain shadowed by more interesting objects.

Special effects fly higher than in Polar Express. So does blood, pulsating bloody flesh and gore galore. Thrown and flying objects and pouring gold. But when it comes to enhanced actors, it falls flat, whether it is their eyes, or their expressions, or those unrealistic bodies, it is not quite human, not quite cartoon, it lacks the expected warmth or wrath. As for the old witch - sex, hero- loyal-betrayed, well I am sure it had a ring of novelty in 700AD, but then it also had a story. Pity, it did not pursue the obvious choice of sons begotten by fathers who left them behind, torn in between their human and their other world sides.

It is best not to listen too closely. On the other hand, you might get a lesson in old English; do you know what swiving means? Of course, listening for text, or accents will leave you either dumbfounded or starting to suspect that you are being taken for a ride by Zemeckis who pretended to shoot a historic legend while he shot an ironic version of it.

Paramount Pictures and Warner Bros. present in association with Shangri-La Entertainment an Image Movers production

Credits:

Director: Robert Zemeckis
Screenwriters: Neil Gaiman, Roger Avary
Producers: Steve Starkey, Robert Zemeckis, Jack Rapke
Executive producers: Martin Shafer, Roger Avary, Neil Gaiman
Director of photography: Robert Presley
Production designer: Doug Chiang
Music: Alan Silvestri
Costume designer: Gabriella Pescucci
Editor: Jeremiah O'Driscoll

Cast:
Beowulf: Ray Winstone
King Hrothgar: Anthony Hopkins
Queen Wealthow: Robin Wright Penn
Wiglaf: Brendan Gleeson
Grendel: Crispin Glover
Grendel's mother: Angelina Jolie